Nugget #421

When did throwing rotten fruit at bad performers go out of style? I suppose there's a lot about the Old West that beguiles me.

Nugget #420

My neighborhood organized a Multiple Sclerosis pub crawl last weekend. Now, do you really think a bartender is going to serve a bunch of people stumbling into a bar? The whole thing was just poorly thought out.

Nugget #446:

Ok, so, the Middle East seems to have this hidden mine problem. Mines just buried everywhere. Kids are walking around playing kick the can, or whatever ragamuffin desert games they play, and then BAM. Legs GONE.

Now, I got to thinking about this. What does the Unites States have a surplus of? Stray cats and dogs. People don't get them spayed and neutered, they do the whole sex thing, and then we have feral dogs and cats roaming around that nobody wants, getting into dumpsters and having fights with the whole smoke cloud with stars coming out of it and whatever.

Now, what does the Middle East have a surplus of? Hidden mines. We have a surplus of animals that like to randomly run around. You get me? Don't sent these kids money for prosthetic legs! Send the stray cats and dogs! Way cheaper.

Nugget #419

If my wife enjoys being fisted, I am so calling bullshit on any whining during childbirth.

Nugget #418

I guarantee you that if you enter a gay bar dressed like a priest, there will at least be a handful of angry gay men with erections.